We're Socio-pathetic

I aopolgize (no I don't) if that last post was not as cynical or offensive compared to my normal standards; but when you've just done a few lines off a stripper's ass-- using funds allocated for a spec. ed. class in the back of a government limousine-- and the stripper is a friend's mother-- and he knows she's white trash but hasn't figured out why she always pays with ones-- can you really be angry?

The biggest question- and I dare make that generalization- is how she manages to let her child watch Christian TV. The bigger question (don't analyze the order of comparitives and superlatives) is how anyone can take Veggie Tales seriously. I HATE VEGGIE TALES, why?

And so I somehow segway to my scatological remnant of a point: SECTARIAN VIOLENCE.

Ethno-religious conflict is the primary reason Veggie Tales is bullshit. Look at the facts:

-Bob is a tomato (read: Jew)
-Larry is a Cucumber (see "Palestinian allegory" on wikipedia)
-That one other vegetable has a British accent
-They live in the promised land

This is inaccurate, ironically I was not referring to my post. Tomotoes and Cucumbers do not get along in Palestine. They do not get along anywhere. Clearly this British vegetable is an representative of Imperialism but neither side take the redcoat seriously.
I find it more acceptable that either the Tomato or the Cucmber would be lying in a pool of his own blood as the other sings songs praising whatever allah he wishes.

This can all be pinned on us: we're socio-pathetic. Why don't we show the real life drama of unplanned movement of religious masses into an area they had to flee centuries before? Why can't we take the brunt of the charge?

Why can't anyone handle the idea that Ketchup is really the product of bombings?

There is no mainline like an IED strapped under the robe of an irate cucumber who just can't take ths fruit-or-not sack of crap from the other side: move to my side of the shelf?!?! hell no Ima fucking kill you- and the cherries too- they aren't your family they look like you- besides heroin.

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It's Not Abuse If It Doesn't Bruise

You want to know who had the right way of doing things?

The Spartans- not that Gerard Butler homoerotic bullshit that I watch repeatedly wishing I will one day cloud my vision with the blood of an infidel ($30,000 signing bonus!) - the ones who beat their kids for not stealing "properly"; the ones who declared war on the Helots every year just so it wasn't illegal to kill one of them; the ones who were both property of the state and a freeman in the state. The Saprtans knew what was up.

The question I indirectly pose to you (that is a singular "you" b-t-dub.) is why we are not Spartans. Not to imply that there are two opinions on this. I am going to tell you what to think.

Among a number of different reasons we are not Spartans



1- We do not currently beat our children in the proper manner

2- We cannot spill someone's blood without getting in trouble for it (hooligan mickey cops)

3- We are not greek (this being the most complicated section- I know... and yes you are overanalyzing it- will require a new post) (read: needs more time to shit on his right to free speech with some malarky dung heap that makes a cynical, satirical and vaguely pretentious point and in the end illuminates an issue but does nothing to solve the problem.)



exhac: Child beating, or "loving" as my father called it.

DO it RIGHT.

I think every child should get the living shit kicked out of him at least once a year. The Spartans used this to technique to teach the kids who was in charge. It worked. It still does. Try it.
Today, the authorities on raising (mollified, semi-sedated, peices of shit, growing to provide no societal benefit) children tell us positive reinforcement is the way to go. We should reprimand, tell of our disappointment, and if the crime is most severe in circumstance ground them. This is a fallacy.

The kids who are coming into the high schools today are the first yearlings raised under this technique (or lack thereof). They are rude, lack social skills, are obstinate, and generally less apt. Abilities of groups of humans are not supposed to decline over time- we are disproving evolution with our parental techniques.

These kids are insolent without reason: My main cause to kick the shit out of my future kids.

When we got beat, we went inside ourselves, determined why this was wrong, if we deserved it, and on what accounts. Grounding cannot force a kid to completely reorganize his world view like a sea salt on a switch's wound, or elctrodes on the nipples, or standing outside all night. Beatings made us plot for ourselves and what we wanted in life. We never relied on other's- they might kick our asses. What is this?? It's sedition. It's revolutionary.

When we got the living crap kicked out of us at school and the teachers looked away (or in my case, told me to stop talking shit like a damn Irish would... with boys in the upper grades). We went to our friends and held organized wars across neighborhoods and playgrounds- politics and leadership and friends were solidified. You knew who had your back when a friend took a stick to the chest so you wouldn't have a bloody mess across the back of your head. You then had the pleasure to tag team the little shit who attacked you from behind and beat his pathetic ass with the very stick he took to your bud. This is where we learned the imprtant things- in conflict with our superiors.

Now take the nearest fourth grader and shake him till he fights back-- start quarrels with seventh grade boys and just gang up on freshman. Don't pick on the weak ones. The strong ones are the kids who haven't learned these lessons.

When you don't force a kid to decide what switch he's going to take you deprive him of any self-reliance and revolution and ability to be a man as I determine it. (There is not room for two opinions here.)

Force your kids to do their shit right. They will steal ice cream at night and not get caught. They will forge your signature on a test. They will learn that they can't, in fact, drink a fifth of whiskey in an hour and a half (unless he or she is of my family's seed; in which case they will be so incredulous as to the fact they just accomplished the deed they will consider never drinking again). They will sneak out and take the car to some slut's house. They will paint then bitch's yard red when she bangs their friend. They will do it all.

And you'll beat their ass raw.

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Unity and the Anti-Nationalist

Unity. One word, big problem. It is rumored that this country fails to have enough of it. I hear from certain sources, reliable sources like Fox News and friends, that we are a divisive country and that our next president should do something about it before it gets worse. Some sources say that it's a matter of time until we Americans tear each other to shreds and then some foreign power stomps on the shreds, I hear China has dibs. Some sources say that with all of our bickering and in-fighting we're getting nothing accomplished in this country. Some sources need to shut the hell up and get off the air so that maybe, just maybe, we can have something resembling real journalism in this country. In the meantime let's talk, just you and me now, about the important topic of governmental division. Not the math kind mind you, that's our next topic seeing as the government doesn't seem to understand that a negative minus a negative is still a negative, but the kind where everyone disagrees.

Don't argue with me on this issue either, don't say to me, "But Andrew, not everyone disagrees. There are some things we can all agree on, like immigration reform (with Canada) and the color of the sky (violet) and stuff like that." But no, you will not persuade me we shall simply have to disagree to disagree. But that's not a bad thing. "What?!", I say for you because I can tell that's what you're thinking. I know I know, ever since you were little you were told that you had to get along and nice little things like, looks like Mommy was wrong wasn't she? Disagreement is a good thing. A really good thing. A really, really good thing. I mean, well actually I think you get where I'm going. When we disagree, everyone wins. Why is that you say? Its because then we can create what we founded this country on. Compromise. Its that little thing that happens when two or more extremely unhappy, unsatisfied people get together and come up with some sort of agreement through which they can all be only partially unhappy and semi-satisfied. That's the reason that this nation is the way it is, Congress? created through compromise, What to have in the Capitol Building's Cafeteria? compromise. See it's just that easy.

If compromise is when we come to an agreement, wouldn't it be better if we all agreed automatically? Ignoring the ridiculousity of that last statement, it would be awful if we all agreed all the time. For one thing if we all agreed nothing would change, we would all be perfectly happy with what had already been decided. I'll tell you now that there are nation's that had unity, the Third Reich's Germany for example. Everyone was on that boat. It was headed towards a anti-Semitic, close-minded waterfall. Stalin's Russia, there was a nation with unity, one point-of-view, well maybe two, Stalin's or dead.

See the point now? Unity leads to death. The way I see it the more division, of the idealism and not mathematical kind, the better. If we're all divided up into little bitty parts we are all at least somewhat satisfied, alternatively some are happy others are unhappy. If you still think that pseudo-Nationalistic unity is a good idea, then please follow the media's finger of decision and pick their candidate. When the dust settles and you're believing the same thing as everyone else, don't say that we didn't have this conversation.

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Knife in the Back. Thanks.

Oh, where has it gone? The passion, the fury, the caring. Today I know for a fact without a doubt that all passion and caring has died in this nation's government. There is nothing left, but a gray bleak world of somber suits and meaningless papers. The loss of true signs of life is saddening in a way and due to the manner of its happening, angering. I feel betrayed for today, or yesterday more exactly, this nation's Congress abandoned its people. They made one promise to the people of America,and to the people of Iraq and the world beyond and now that promise lies shattered on the floor like the world's unluckiest mirror. The US Congress, currently with a Democrat majority, gave in to what is perhaps the most controlling and ridiculous President this nation has ever suffered. Congress should be impeaching him, snatching back our civil liberties and tearing apart his administrations horrendous mistakes, but instead they sit down and put their hands in their pockets and whistle a little tune for comfort and allow the President to make outrageous demands, lacking in compromise and intelligence, and control every aspect of the government. Is it not enough that the man has taken away our freedoms, Congress? Did you rally have to reward him for his bad behavior? Now that stubborn ignorant child will never learn his lesson.

Today's betrayal should not only sadden the liberals in America, but virtually anyone who gives a damn about the direction this nation is headed, or likes holding on to some individual liberties, or has a brain. Some will say the money is needed, justified even. I have but one question for those people, When was the last time your boss gave you more money for failure? If it was recntly please let me know and I will never again speak negatively of our President, your President I mean. I want to cry, I want to shout from the rooftops, "Why can't a group of men and women responisble for the direction and fate of an entire nation stand up to a single man? Why do they roll on their backs like dogs beaten by a drunken master? Has this nation lost its teeth?" I think so. When is the last time you heard of a political riot that had to be suppressed. When was the last time they even had to use tear-gas on protesters? Not recently enough, I am afraid. A government that represents the people should be constantly challenged by the people, otherwise how will they ever feel the fear of the people and not a single man. No one listens to everything their parents say without challenging the things we do not agree with, even when we lose the fight we cannot then say we did not try. I am begging you people, for fuck's sake take action don't let the bastards knife you in the back again.

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Baby octopi. You mean devil-fish?

Steinbeck was a genius. The only unfortunate thing was that he, like the Australians, did not have Christmas. They had Uggs. Fur goes on the outside, it's nature. Back to the eight legged satanic-minions- why do I attack these multipodal creatures of the deep?

Oct- ( eight ) from Greek
Pi- (plural, masculine) from Latin

That is why. The Octopi have combined themselves into a super-animal above the rules of grammar and men and transcending the cultural barriers of (dead) languages. For this reason they will not be tolerated. Besides this, they have eight legs. That is two more than the devil's number (that's 6 for those of you not fully versed in Patmosan apocolyptic literature). Four horsemen will bring the conversion of the Jews (the End of the World, Mr. "I got that first reference") and two is exactly half of four. That second part? Coincidence? Probably.

Wait for it- I just invented a purpose for this.

There is a war coming, we can practically smell the blood rotting in the fields east of Eden (again, thank you, John; no thanks to that rib-stealing whore Eve). This war will be fought , for all those children (and men) who can't sleep because of brounies (and the US Government), for all the animals that cannot fight for themselves, and for each plant and rock and field and river, among us. Why will we fight?

It Doesn't Fucking matter.

If you learn anything from human history let it be this: one, Cats will sneak (and Egyptians will not kill them), and two, people will kill each other for whatever reason is the most important at the time. When an issue is eliminated, the next molehill becomes the tallest mountain. Sharpen your axes, boys, they called us French (that was e.g. -- being called a froggy would, in fact, be valid reason for belligerence).

What do we do? For the sake of humanity and all that is holy (or unholy you hell bound devil-fish-lovers), we must take the most mundane, ridiculous issue possible and eliminate this cycle starting today. We would eventually have got to that end anyway. No, I already thought about that, this principle does not apply to drinking. This is nothing like getting your stomach pumped before you start hammering back neat whiskys (no "e" assholes) alternated with caffeinated drinks and smoking unfiltered Kamel Reds. The main difference, besides my actual preparation for our war, is that there is not a bad side to alcohol(-ism?.... maybe?).

The War will end the slow cliff dive history has until today been. If we just skip all the other petty bitch-fits in our (slow, repetitive, eternal) fall from grace we will get a lot more done, you know, progress-wise. War is, in essence, fought to eliminate differences.

Our Causus Belli : the devil-fish.

I have outlined my position. Take up arms, ye believers in the one truth above all others, ye destructors of the infidel, and fight with me for the end of world as we know it.
(f-you REM, its mine now).

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Send This Turkey To China They Made It Anyway.

Okay, so Thanksgiving is over. I missed a great opportunity for some "What America is Thankful For" post. Sucks for me, huh? But I already know how much we have to be thankful, I mean I didn't get shot at this morning so I'm already beating a huge section of the world, now who does it suck to be? Right. Nonetheless, being here doing this thing right now I can't avoid using the theme a little bit. How about "Why China is Thankful". Sounds fun right? So un-patriotic,you say, and I respond with I'm not the one that the Chinese economic minister should be getting down on his knees for.

You America just spent the day after perhaps one of the greatest American holidays fattening up China. Feeding them out of your hand. The only problem is that little puppy you been feeding for so long isn't a dog, that's right, it's a real live wolf; and it's hungry. Look at that wide-mouthed country bearing down on you America. You should be scared, you should be running, or better yet fighting back. Not us, we spend the day instead running out to "Black Friday" or "Chinese Thanksgiving". Most likely you spent the day searching for those great deals at Wal-Mart and the likes. That's right through a steak to the wolf.

Wal-Mart sells a lot of Chinese manufactured goods. That's how they get the best deal for you the consumer. Doesn't matter that the product is actually a chemical weapon. Lead is one, just a little bit too much and whoops there goes poor Little Timmy's chances of going to college. It's okay though since Little Timmy's parents saved more than enough by shopping at Wal-Mart to support him the rest of his life. Too bad Wal-Mart won't get him that health insurance, but that's a different story. Maybe lead poisoning and brain damage aren't good enough for your child, How about a powerful date rape drug then? Sounds way cooler, and you should see the colors it comes in. I have to admit that even after I knew it was a dangerous toy I still wanted to take a bite. That's the wolf's job though.

Right now, America, we may not be in great shape economically, but that's okay, just stop being dumb and watch what appendages you offer to China. But if acting to protect America and making small personal sacrifices ala Kennedy aren't your thing then you can always wait another 75 years or so and China and the America will make a bit of a reversal. That's right, think hard now. Imagine we keep going the same way we are now and eventually all manufacturing goes to China. The Chinese workers seeing the economic success of their nation organize and demand better wages and treatment. Soon they start shipping manufacturing jobs overseas to America where the weak dollar and huge unemployed class provide cheap manufacturing labor. Some day we will have our revenge, they'll see. Some day that wolf will get tired of finding its own food and will raise up its own pup to do the dirty work. Woof!

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Andrew says I am confusing

Andrew tells me I need to be less convoluted; that I need to at least try to make myself out as something other than a blithering idiot attempting to convey some sort of moral dogma. Andrew tells me I need to calm down. I can't.

There is one good reason for my incessant bellicosity toward the world. No, its not people are generally worth the same as their thoughts, but you make a good point. Sorry for that. Andrew says I need to stop this having conversations with yourself bullshit- gawd Forrest- you're confusing even f-ing Geoff- and he thinks in lines that are about as straight as Lance Bass- that is along you're same process. And I quote.

And make up quotes.

I am still angry. Getting back off that tangent over one of many things- one of those many things being 196 billion dollars. That is, 196,000,000,000, dollars. Despite us citizens being soooo lucky that this isn't in canadienne dollars (-ienne, is just to rremind me that in essence they are French- and effeminate), that is a whole lot of pesos no matter the currency you're counting in.

I am talking to myself at night. Maybe I do this normally, ok, I do this regularly, but this time people don't stare at me trying to figure out what I am actually trying to say. We have to screw someone, right? Why not ourselves? Make sense?
Yea, me neither.

George (him of PA ave.) decided the other day that we did, in fact need a ridiculous, wildly out of control, amount of money to fund our "adventures" over the ocean. 80 days around the world my ass. He then rejected the bill to put a horrifyingly small sum towards our nation's children. Why? because it is obviously more important to take care of the well-being of the women and children in a country with little political ramification in a region hot on the blood of American media. We need to take care of everyone else before ourselves. The last person to do this properly was Jesus Christ- he got nailed to a tree. I'm squeamish and Mr. Bush did cocaine.

Let us delve further into the bilous pool of incestous neoconservative thought that oozes from the politcal autocracy this administration has formed.

There is a document (manifesto....) called the Project for the New American Century. A conservative think tank came upi with this plan late in the 90's. Well, no biggie, one might say, who wrote it bychance? Donald "baby-killer" Rumsfeld, Jeb "hold-my-beer-and-watch-this" Bush, and Dick "the-devil-owes-me-his-soul" Cheney among a number of other high ranking officials the amounts of which will cause youe to deficate, whatever you might me doing. I was giving a speech in class when I heard. Really puts the ass in class. hahah. That wasn't funny.

They outlined the need for an invasion of Iraq and several other middle eastern counries in 1998. The purpose- American Hegemony- and a few years later they decided WMD might have a better ring about it, but that really didn't sound as good as liberation, which was even surpassed by staying the course. Yea, fuck me.
That is about all that needs to be said there. Draw a conclusion, or rather try not to- tourrettes is not the most gratifying disease, socially.

PS:

Some fun facts!!

• Iran has gotten uranium to 3-4% purity.
• They have averaged a percent more every 4-5 years.
• One needs 10% purity for electrical and energy use.
• One need 90% purity to be considered weapons grade.
• We are going after Iran on the bases of nuclear threat.
• They (the Iranian plants) were called respectable and cooperative by UN inspectors.
• There is talk of dealing forcibly with Iran.

The definition of crazy is doing things repeatedly and expecting differing results. I see all the same ingredients of our Iraqi and Bosnian recipe. I like cake (and conflict), so does congress obviously, or their approval rating wouldn't be even lower than that of our White House.

peace.

Next week we solve all the worlds problems!!

Nice enough andrew- convoluted, I think not- still no backspace, I know yes.

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